The Negative

What is film used for?  It is a tiny ribbon of amber material that captures an image forever.  I recently found photo negatives of my mom when she was a child.  Now I am not saying that was FOREVER.. but it was a long time.  The negatives still have the pictures that were imprinted on them nearly 50 years ago.  That's how our thoughts and our minds are.  That is how humans operate.  We hear something, see something, or act on something - and suddenly we begin to imitate that.  Just look at babies.  They aren't smart at 10 months old and just know that the two syllables ma-ma and dada mean Mommy and Daddy.  They are imitating you repeating it over and over to them.  They are wanting that approval from you.  Imitation is the highest form of flattery - but can also be the highest form of destruction.  

God has been teaching me a lot lately about myself and who I am becoming.  There are people that I surround myself with, TV shows that I watch, and things that I read that are not pure and virtuous. They are things that are bringing me down.  If you have noticed - I haven't been blogging about my relationship with my Savior lately.  It has been about me.  It has been about what I am doing.  Not about what the Lord is teaching me or doing in or around me.  

This morning my mom brought a magazine in my room.  It is the recent issue of self.  I buy women's health, shape, and self to make myself feel athletic.  Being athletic is one of the things I strive to be one day in my life, yet I know I will never achieve.  I buy these magazines because the front cover "motivates" me to look like that - yet it is virtually unattainable.  These models are models because they are genetically born with a perfect metabolism, a great bone structure, and they were found at the perfect time.  Okay - maybe they aren't born perfect and have eating disorders and tons of problems - but looking at them, not only makes me insecure, it makes me wish I was them and become unsatisfied with how God made ME.  

But what is one thing that these magazine have in common.  Here is the breakdown of what is inside of them:

I have been praying about it - but as all immature people say, "It's not going to effect me!  I am a bigger person than this - I am a Christian and I can read and watch and talk like this and not be effected." 

20% Nutrition

5% Recipes

35% Workout Routines/Articles

40% Relationship and Sex Advice.

Now out of those things... I want most of all the Workout Routine portion - but am I getting any of that out of these magazines?  No.  I am getting more information about sex and ungodly relationships than anything!  That is ridiculous!  Why am I filling my mind with things like this when the Bible EXPLICITLY warns me about this:

Mark 7:20-23 says:

²⁰ He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. ²¹ For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder,²² adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. ²³ All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

What you behold you become.  Your life is like a piece of photographic film.  

The eyes are the window of the soul.  

Things that you see go into your eyes make an impression on your soul.  The things that you focus on long enough you eventually take on the characteristics of what you are looking like.

Check this out:

This is a perfect "secular" example of this idea.  Old married couples look like each other the more they age.  What they focused on for 10-20-50 years are the characteristics they are beginning to embody.  

This is my favorite one! haha

So I pose the question:

Only you can be honest with yourself. Don't wait the 47 days to New Years to make a change.  make a change now.  

The change might be hard.  It might involve changing your friend group, not watching the shows you watch, and it might even involve you meeting new people.  But it also means...

You get more time with you Heavenly Father!  And that is ALWAYS a good thing!

I want to let you know what sparked this blog post.  It was a video that I watched several nights ago of one of my friends Dorothy Shepherd and her wedding that took place a few months ago.  (Click on the picture to watch the video)

It reminded me of the relationship, the man, and the love that I want to share and reciprocate one day.  It is a love that stems from Jesus - a love that can only be found if you seek HIM out and cultivate that relationship day in and day out.  

The Marathon that is Life.

I had a HUGE "uh-oh" moment this weekend.  On Saturday, I ran the Soaring Wings Half Marathon in Conway.  I did this in preparation for my upcoming double marathon I am running ( read about that here) I have been training religiously, like running almost everyday, and I follow a strict regime on what to run and when to run it.  I have been using this app called... Nike Running.  I have loved it, in fact I have told most everybody that it is the best app to run with.  Well, it was until during my race this weekend on Mile 10.. my app told me "congrats you just finished your first half marathon" First, false - this is my second.  And Second, No!!!  I am only on mile 10!!!

As I began to contemplate what was exactly going on, I began to realize that my app was not calibrated correctly and my training had been misleading!  I thought I had run 12 miles last week in RECORD time... but I hadn't.  Actually - I was slower than I thought.  I finished the race in 2:28 which is almost 20 minutes faster than my first half marathon.  I am training for that Double Race on New Years and so I have about 8 weeks to get faster and better and stronger.  It was just disappointing - so frustrating, in fact, that I almost ripped my iPhone off my arm and threw it into the ravine.  I didn't - But I was close.

The best part of the race is the new resolution I made with myself.  When I run a race, I will get a new outfit :) So this was my Under Armour exclusive outfit! Complete with matching pants and top and a very comfortable neon yellow/green sweatshirt!  It was so comfortable to run in!  The weather this weekend was perfect running weather, especially for the outfit I picked out - but I can't imagine what the weather will be like on New Years!  Hopefully, it will be mild.  Here's for hoping!

Wanted to let you know what else I did with my weekend:  

I babysat these adorable little cousins of mine!  Yes, they are apart of the Gosser Mafia!  

See I am telling you - you do not want to mess with us :)

drumrolll pleaseeeeeeee

I also got my extensions back!  What do y'all think of the "new look"?  I got them from Robin at Harrington and Co. in Conway!  She is amazing!  And they look so real!  I am getting use to the length, but Love LOVE LOVE the new look! Hope you do too!

And then finally - as I look back on the past 6 months.... I love playing the Piano!  Miss Arkansas wasn't the highlight of my summer, it is this picture.  I think it captures everything that I wanted to accomplish this year - I wanted to

HAVE FUN WHILE PERFORMING THE PIANO IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE.  

And I did just that!

The Grace Period

After spending a year in Waco, I had decided that I was done with Texas and I would always be a Little Rock native and homebody.  After spending nearly 6 months at home, I am moving back to Waco - to finish my degree in Sports Management and to start a life of my own.  Here is my story and how Jesus has changed my heart... Last spring, my heart was gearing up for one of the best summers and runs at Miss Arkansas I could have ever dreamed for.  I was ready to be in Arkansas and I was ready to be with my family.  Because I was already living my life in Arkansas, while still in Waco, I wasn't able to completely devote myself to my time and my friends there (Kellie and Rachael below).  I was merely living day to day and going through the motions.   In July, after Miss Arkansas, a number of opportunities opened up for me in Arkansas, including an incredible internship at the University of Central Arkansas, so I decided that a much needed semester at home coupled with a God send internship was just what I needed.  
In no time at all I quickly fell in love with a church family in Little Rock, my work family at UCA, and loved being at home with my sister and family.  For the first time in a year I was able to go to family lunch and sit and watch tv with my mom at night and was included on the family chit-chat during the day.  I loved every minute of it.  
By the end of my seventh week home, some things in my heart started changing.  People began asking me for my future plans after grad school ends in May.  I answered very matter-of-factly every single time, I am moving to NorthWest Arkansas and getting a house and working for the University of Central Arkansas.  It is where my friends are, my university (the state university) is, and of course a job!  But something in the pit of my stomach was not right.  I had this feeling once before, about a year ago, when I was saying (matter-of-factly) that I would marry a boy named Taylor Clark.  This feeling had come back.  Which meant that something was not right with the Man upstairs.   I began praying for discernment of the Holy Spirit and the work it was doing in my soul.  And then I began the infamous Beth Moore JAMES study.  It is amazing.  (And I am a horrible student of it right now - I mean seriously, I have missed 2 weeks in a row!) The first week she discussed family and you can read about that HERE in my older post.  I am learning that I shouldn't judge a place because I am not close to my family - you can make new family wherever you are.  No, they aren't your biological and "real" family - but they are your spiritual family.  They can pick you up in times you need and have fun and go see movies on Sunday afternoons.  This family, I was beginning to shape and form in Waco last spring, however, I abandoned ship and I left Waco to come to a more comfortable place.  
I feel like God is showing me that comfort is not necessarily what we need.  I thought that God was putting my back in Arkansas to develop a sports network, to work on a job for May, but what God was really doing - was giving me a "GRACE PERIOD" a period of my life that I can take my glasses off, clean the lenses, and look through them with a new perspective.  This perspective is the perspective that counts.  
It is with God's help and his mercy, strength, and confidence I am returning to Waco in January.  I am not just returning for the semester, or the year, but to plant roots.  To grow as an individual and to grow as woman of God.  I know that God will open a lot of doors for me as I take this HUGE leap of faith and head back down there.  But I know now, more than ever, that Waco is going to be my home and that God is preparing big things for me when I get back!  
Please pray for my continued efforts in discerning God's truth and the Holy Spirit's words.  That I don't put words in Their mouths or emotions in the feelings that I am getting, but that I make decisions based one hundred percent on God's plan for my life.  




I also want to ask you to pray for friends of mine.  I have only met them a couple of times, but they are special to me in several ways.  They are native to Arkadelphia - my families home town, they are best friends of my family, and the are in laws of some of my closest friends.  But most importantly they are my Ouachita Family.
People often ask what is so special about Ouachita, well you see, no matter when you went there - you are always family and in times of need and tragedy and joys and celebration - Ouachita Family is there and supporting you.  I ask that you take a moment and pray for Julee Bell Turner and her family as they mourn the loss of her husband, Matt Turner.  Matt was an incredible Father and Husband and to learn more you can visit THV's website.  Matt and Julee have a 10 month old precious baby girl named Preslee.  As they prepare for the funeral and for honoring Matt's 32 years on this earth, friends and family are giving back.  
Several Ouachita friends are donating proceeds this week to the Preslee Turner College Fund.  If you want to donate:  Please do.  It is supporting a family in need and a family that needs more prayer and support than we can probably give them, but that is what is so neat about God.... He is ALL WE NEED. And his hands and arms are covering the Bell-Turner Family tonight.  
Don't just remember them this week or next week... but the upcoming months will be the hardest and remember them in a year, in 2 years.  They will still need your support then.  
Go shop and donate - and give to this family that needs your support and prayers.  
Lord, be with the Bell-Turner Family tonight.

Click here for :  POSH BY ALEASA

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Blog Mapping!

I have decided I want to start blogging more.  Sometimes I want to blog and have nothing to say (shocker I know) and sometimes I am just frustrated with all of the ideas running wild in my head and I don't even know where to begin.  So  I am going to stick to this regime!  Hoping that it works! Hope you enjoy my weeks ahead!

Check back this afternoon to see my first blog... whatcha want wednesday!


Abby