Thursday, June 4, 2015

My Route 44 Heart.

I have a confession to make... I have been unsatisfied.  The word unsatisfied in the English Dictionary means, 
a state of mind where our desires haven't been quenched by somethings or something
Which literally means, nothing is quenching my thirst.  I have tried to solve the quench with relationships, new jobs, vacations, phone calls, weight loss... you name it - I've tried it.  I feel like I have gone to Sonic, ordered a Route 44, but they brought me an empty cup.  Being the independent Type A that I am, I decided I could fill it up, but 2 years into trying - still empty.  

you know where I am going with this.... 

You can't fill up your own cup! 
John 4:13-14 Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water shall thirst again; 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”
Have I not heard this story a million and a half times?  Am I so stubborn and "self-sufficient" that I think I can solve the problem?  Recently I sat down with some wise friends and I shared with them how the last 2 years have been really hard, and I am in a state of transition.  I have been more alone, more upset, more dramatic, more up and down, more ashamed, more sad then I have ever been/felt in my life.  So naturally, what does a logical person think to do (something I have not thought to do in 2 years - because again I tried to fill my cup)... we began to analyze why I felt these ways.  We came up with 3 really good answers...

  1. I was/am not involved (really involved - like serving involved) in a church. 
  2. I am not/was not/have not been constantly poured into by other like-minded believers. 
  3. I was trying to satisfy my quench with the world aka my career.*
*please do not read #3 and think I am saying you can't be full of Jesus and satisfied and have a career.  I am saying that in my own personal life - I was focused on my career making me "happy" and "filling my Route 44" and not Jesus, if you are trying to rely on your career for your satisfaction and happiness in life - please read this.... IT WILL NOT WORK.
This got me thinking.  I was trying to fill my life with everything BUT a relationship with Him.  Now, I had a relationship with God, but it was your basic prayers - nothing deep and intimate, like my soul was longing for (little did I know).  I felt like this and I KNOW GOD!  I can't begin to imagine how people who don't KNOW Him and Know the wonderful peace and bliss He brings feel.  

The lack of discipleship and community in my life with like-minded, encouraging believers was beginning to take a toll on my soul.  I began to think about our world and what is going on right now. This was a heart issue for me.  Bottom line: my heart was NOT in an intimate place with the Lord.  The only one who can truly satisfy a human heart is the One who made it.  Think about that for a minute.... Jesus is the only One who can truly fill my extra-large Route 44 heart.  

What if the things going on in our world today - are not people deciding to turn away from God and follow the devil into eternity... but it is simply their way of crying out for a full Route 44.  They are unsatisfied with life and searching desperately for satisfaction and so they turn to homosexuality, pornography, binge eating, gossip, sexual reassignment, shoplifting, the list could go on and on., but they are yearning for satisfaction and turning to all of these things hoping they can find some.  It hurts my heart to hear people say "I'm doing this for my soul" or "This really makes me happy."  

Because if they believe that the 10 second high that the world gives them is truly happy... they are missing out on the blissful life God can give them - and it is NEVER too late, He is a God who restores everything - Lamentations 3:23 "His mercies are new every morning."

Why not instead of focusing on the sin we begin to focus on the sinner.  It is our job to show Christ to people, it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict and convert.  Take the pressure off your shoulders, yes stand up for what you believe (Eccl. 3:7 - a time to tear, and a time to keep silent, and a time to speak...), but don't turn people away from the love and satisfaction of the Lord just because you want to prove a point.  
Let them taste and see that the Lord is good  (Psalm 34:8)
Christine Caine said it best, "I've read the end of the book... We win. God wins. He prevails."  

That's it. The end.  It's over. You don't get to go back and rediscuss issues, or talk to that woman suffering in silence and unsatisfied with life.  You get one chance to show love - to be encouraging and use your words to impact that person for eternity.  We know they will hate us - that isn't a new concept for Christians - Matthew 10:22 "And you will be hated by everyone because of me, but stand firm to the end and I will save you."  Think about it - you can effect someone's life for eternity... Will you help fill their Route 44?

Abby